I found that going to the mall and playing DDR (for those that don't know this stands for Dance Dance Resolution -_-). A couple summers ago I would take my little sister to the mall for some summer for. We would go see a movie, eat and play video games at the arcade place. I felt that was a cool, fun way to connect with her that was better than sitting in the house all day. Going to play DDR now a couple years later made me feel like I had never left. It was a moment that I had with her today that really made me enjoy the things in my life.
I'm not usually understood by people I meet and/or they usually just go with the flow with my witty humor. I'm sitting here at 11:55 pm on a Wednesday night when I should be getting ready to close my eyes. However, I feel like I should start getting back into the swing of things. At my high school graduation, I received this "character award" which was a statement saying that among my peers, I was the most OUT THERE IN PERSONALITY! Which is fine for me considering the personality that I have. I'm not saying I'm the shit, but my "being me" has been under construction for many MANY MANY years. I wasn't always a outgoing, ready to party, no filter type of person. I went through my stages of adolescent depression of being picked on, and wanting to stay in the dark. Like I said earlier, I have worked on being myself...my true self that I care not (ok, well I care but not so seriously) what people are going to judge me on. I'm being judged everyday as is, and I judge people all the time, so I'm no saint....is anyone? (no hands) lol
Everyday, I work on being a better version of me. Something that I've come to accept is bright eye shadow...hear me out before you go wtf on me kay! The reason I'm using the "bright eye shadow metaphor" is because like bright shadow, you have to have confidence to pull it off. It's like if I can pull off some blue eye shadow, why can't I just be myself. It's those type of things that make me happy to dance in public, or whatever I wanna do. I can only live and say that I've stopped being afraid of putting myself out there. Yes, I get nervous still but even if things don't go the way in which I want them to, I can't turn back or take it back. It's like walking up to someone and trying to talk to them. You never know what the reaction might be. I've had my share of rejection, and I'm sure its going to keep coming my way through other avenues that I want to pursue. Why quit being me to be someone else that I'm not. I've been told multiple times that people wish they could be similar to me. You don't because I'm only one person. You have to be yourself.
My mom always says that I walk with this confidence, and that she is so proud of me being confident. Yea, me too! Confidence is key in whatever we plan to do. Even when things don't go our way, they do because we were brave enough to go for it.
To end is, I say "LIFE IS SO DAMN SHORT. FOR FUCK SAKE, JUST DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY". (found that on Pinterest <3)
May you sleep on marshmallow pillow pets,
Denisha :)
