Online dating is equivalent to jumping in the deep end of the pool when you can barely swim! Sometimes I dip my toe in just to see how cold the water is. When I do this, it's fucking freezing!! Just like when I begin talking to someone that peaks my interests on Okcupid.com. We begin conversing about our interests, and things seem to be going alright. A part of me is into it, but majority of me constantly says, "He's on that bullshit!". Then when it doesn't work out, I'm between "I knew it!" and "Damn, again!". It's TOO easy to find someone to have a one night stand with. It's a completely different story when you're wanting to pursue a relationship. The good thing about all this is that I don't have to worry about regret...still, it's a fucking bummer!
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?
I recently began chatting with this guy on the dating site. We visited each other's pages, and I thought he was cute and interesting, but I just left it there. He messaged me with a long note that I thought was different. Different in the sense that most guys usually say, "Hi." or "Hey beautiful." or some other type of short message. His was different though. As I read over his message to me, I kept thinking, "Is this too good to be true?" My dad always told me growing up, "Denisha, don't get your hopes up too high. You might get hurt." Since then, everything that happens in my life, I decided not to get my hopes up too high, cause it could lead to disappointment. In recent years, I decided that disappointment isn't such a bad thing. I mean, yeah shit hurts but I'll eventually get up and continue moving forward.
I took a couple minutes before I responded to his message. I responded to him, first thanking him for the kind message, and continuing the conversation he was talking about. He mentioned being new to the city, and wanting to meet people. He told me that he liked my profile and thought we had similar interests. It's always nice to meet people who have similar interests because it gives me something to talk about other than myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm an interesting person and all, but it always feels one-sided.
*Matt* was different from the other guys I've been talking to, which is why I'm a bit conflicted. His long ass messages were refreshing I have to say. We started emailing each other.
Real or Catfish?
But, something just seemed a bit off..First off, he told me that he was in Africa. He told me his story about how his mom passed away when he was younger, and he dad was always away on business trips so he lived with his aunt in Africa. He just recently moved back to Baltimore because his dad passed away, and he was taking care of his finances. However, he had to go back to Africa because his aunt fell ill, so he was nursing her back to health. YOU CAN SEE WHERE THERE'S BEGINNING TO BE A LOT OF QUESTIONS! As much as I wanted to believe that this person was real, there was a huge part of me that kept thinking, "HE'S A GOOD LIAR. WHO WILL TELL YOU THIS LONG ASS LIE OTHER THAN A CATFISH???" Maybe I've begun putting too much thought into this show, but that seems a bit of a stretch. On top of that, I asked if he could Skype chat with me. This was his response, "I can't Skype from here till I get back to the states because my phone is broken and currently not working so I have to fix it or get a replacement when I return. I'm using computer for now and the internet connection is encrypt by the Internet service provider so I only have access to email and few things." Do you believe this, or nah?
I checked my Okcupid inbox today to see if people sent any messages. I noticed that his picture was no longer on there. I attempted to view his profile, but it said he deleted his account. I went to my email, and sent him this message:I just wanted confirmation that this isn't a fake person. You seem too good to be true at some points reading your emails. I happened to go on Okcupid today, and notice you deleted your account. If you could take a picture saying "Hi, Denisha. I'm real." or something to confirm this is *Matt* that would be great. I will do the same in return. I don't have any expectations with anyone I talk to online. I enjoy the exchange of emails, but I don't want to get my hopes up and you're not who you say you are. I hope you see where I'm coming from, and don't get offended. I have yet to talk to someone who is a Catfish.
Once again, I hope you don't take offense to this. I just don't want my time wasted.
After all, a picture is worth a thousand words...
Hope to hear from you soon *Matt*. I like talking to you, and if this is really you, I hope to get that picture.
-Denisha
I got so caught up with the messaging that I didn't ask for a picture up front. I didn't think about it until I sent this email to him. If there's anything I've learned with online dating is that a looks can be deceiving. I mentioned sending me a picture with a message. I don't think that's too much to ask for. It would make me a lot more comfortable knowing that I'm talking to the person in the photos.
I will keep you posted about this...
*- Matt is not his real name.
UPDATE: SO DUDE OF COURSE ENDED UP BEING A FAKE. HE KEPT GETTING OFFENDED WHENEVER I WOULD ASK ABOUT WHO HE WAS. HE ASKED FOR MONEY WHICH WAS A RED FLAG. I THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS THAT HE THOUGHT I'D GIVE HIM MONEY. IT'S SAD THAT PEOPLE FALL FOR THIS STUFF, GIVE MONEY TO RANDOM PEOPLE. I CAUGHT HIM IN HIS LIE, AND HE STOPPED RESPONDING.